Final Project: Mock Session

             I met with a friend, Sally, to do my mock Creative Arts Therapy Session. To make the process a bit more structured and formal I invited her over to my apartment at a set date and time, set in advance, and had the work space already set for when she arrived. Sally and I met in undergrad where she completed a minor in Scenic Design. She went on to get her Masters in graphic Design at Pratt and routinely sketches and watercolors as some of her favorite hobbies. As such, I wasn’t too concerned with ensuring success on this first visit. Knowing that she is a very capable artist I felt I could give her a more challenging prompt than I would have normally. What I didn’t realize, however, was that at times her artistic skillset and design background would be a disservice to her.

            Wanting to ensure that Sally felt like she had plenty of choices I made sure to present her with a multitude of materials. I had assorted sizes, types and colors of paper. In additional I had rubber cement glue, Elmers school glue, scotch tape, scissors, magic markers, colored pencils, water colors, crayons, oil pastels, stickers and much more. I also decided to give Sally the choice of which directive she wanted to focus on for the session allowing her to choose between “Make an image that either tells a story, expresses a feeling, allows you to be/meditate/play with the materials or depicts a relationship” or “Decorate this box as a representation of you paying attention to the inside, outside and boundaries.” Sally chose the latter exclaiming “I love little boxes” and rushing to get started.

            Almost instantly Sally stated “I wish you had glitter.” At first, I must admit, I felt a little annoyed. After all of the effort I had put in to digging up any and all of my creative supplies she had to want what felt like the only thing I didn’t have. I apologized for not having glitter and encouraged her to do the best she could with the materials that were available to her. For a bit longer we sat in silence. Noticing my eyes on her she said “Don’t look at me.” Being friends we both laughed at the awkwardness of my watching her decorate a box as I sat observing.  “You don’t have to just watch me,” she stated, “you can do something else.”  “Well, actually, I think it’s best if I don’t draw with you because I want to be able to see what you’re doing. This is about your experience, not mine” I responded.  “Well you don’t have to draw, you can read or something, I don’t care” she replied. “I think I’d prefer to just watch what you’re doing, this is your time.”

            I continued to watch as Sally worked on her box. I felt too uncomfortable commenting as she worked being that she seemed so focused, I did not want to distract her. Instead, I made mental notes as she went. I noticed how she vigorously colored the bottom inside of the box with a yellow colored pencil. She looked at disappointingly after and stated out loud but to herself “This was supposed to be yellow.” Though I knew the comment wasn’t to me I felt tempted to offer advice. Perhaps she didn’t realize the watercolors might work nicely on the box, or that the oil pastels might work better. Ultimately I held back, both intimidated by the fact that she is a better artist than me and not wanting to get to in the way of her process.

            I continued to watch Sally work until eventually she peeked up and asked “Um, how long do I have to work on this? You should give me a time or I’ll work on this forever.” I was so sucked in watching her work I hadn’t even thought of giving her a set time. I apologized for the oversight and told her we could work on the box for twenty more minutes, asking her if that felt ok. She said that was fine. Part of me was sad to restrict her and curious to see where her design would go with unlimited time. However, wanting to leave time for discussion I knew that setting some parameter was necessary.

            Toward the end of the project I noticed Sally turn the box over. She looked at the barcode sticker, picked at it for a second, then looked up at me before putting the box back down. I felt silly for not having taken the sticker off first and wondered what that communicated and what was going on in her head. Instead of commenting in the moment I made a mental note of it for discussion at the end.  Shortly after Sally declared “Ok I’m done” before scrambling to add a few more details while saying “No, wait” and then quickly stating that she was done once again.

            To begin our discussion about the piece I first asked Sally what she thought the focal point or the center of the piece was. “The center is what’s in the center. This eye.” I asked her to briefly explain what the piece elicited in her, what was going on in the piece for her. “Well, as I understood the assignment it’s supposed to be about me. So, it’s me. It’s about how I view the world and process what I see.”  With this idea of processing in mind I assumed the piece had a sort of motion to it. I asked her what she thought the motion was however she seemed a bit stumped. To help her, I reminded her that on the inside of the box she had drawn a circular motion on the bottom and had drawn a series of lines from bottom to top on the inside wall of the box. “Well, I guess the motion starts outside. So, like, I see these things in the world that I take in and that become part of me. And there are other ways that I can take stuff in, like through these windows (Sally pointed to various shapes on the outside wall of the box) but some stuff gets in and other stuff doesn’t and that’s the way it is. So I drew the shaped like one of those kids toys where only the right shape goes through.”

            To clarify and reflect back what I had heard I repeated this idea of things in the outside world being absorbed by the eye and windows and internalized. “Yes,” she stated. “So the motion is kind of going from outside in?” I asked. “Well, it’s coming in but stuff is also going out. Like some of the stuff comes in and just stays there and other stuff comes in and effects what I then put back into the world,” Sally shared. “So it’s sort of bi-directional” I wondered. “Yeah,” Sally answered.

            “So, these shapes on the side of the box are meant to be windows?” I asked.  Sally confirmed that they were leading me to wonder if she had contemplated using the scissors to create real passageways. “Uh, no. No, I didn’t think about using the scissors” Sally confirmed.  “So, in a way, even the passages that are supposed to let stuff through are still blocked,” I stated. Sally hesitated and then stated” Yeah, yeah I guess they are. But, I wouldn’t read too much into that. I didn’t plan that.” “So the rest of it you did plan?” I asked. Sally said that she had. I explained to her that sometimes powerful things can come up when we allow ourselves not to think. “I can’t not think, I’m a designer. I visualize in advance.”

            Wanting to continue moving forward I began to talk through the steps Sally had taken in decorating her box to elicit more conversation, making statements about various observations I had made. Sally nodded and agreed as I went, occasionally adding a comment here or there before eventually asking “Are you just going to say what I did?” I told her yes, and explained to her that her box was about her and that I didn’t want to impose any of my own assumptions or interpretations onto her.

            I mentioned her persistence in getting the bottom of the box yellow and asked why it was so important to her to have the bottom of the box be visibly yellow. “I just wanted to have it go from darker to lighter colors so that the center could be white.” I probed her and she explained that it tied into the idea of processing. Everything she takes in gets processed and filtered and maybe some of it gets put back out.”

            Nearing the end of our time I commented on her leaving the lid of the box on. “That’s the only way it works,” she stated “If the lid isn’t on the mechanism doesn’t work.” I wondered “Well, if the only way the mechanism works is with the lid on, did you consider taping or gluing the lid on permanently so that it always works?” “No, I didn’t think of that,” she replied.

            To wrap things up I reminded Sally about how desperately she had wanted glitter at the beginning of the project. I asked her how she felt when I didn’t have glitter. “Disappointed” she replied “but it was okay.” We explored what she would have done with the glitter had she had it and what she did to compensate for not having it. I asked her what her experiences was doing the mock session “I mean, it made think about things I kind of already knew about myself but made me think about them in a different way-- but, nothing life changing. I don’t think I’ll go home and like cry tonight.” I told her that just the fact it made her think in a different way seemed victory enough for me. 

            If I could go back and redo the mock session I would choose a different, more introductory directive. Doing so may have helped to break down Sally's habits of thinking so much while making art. Giving her what felt like a more advanced directive, one meant for a little further in the therapeutic relationship, allowed her to stay in this highly design centered place. However, I was very pleased to hear that the experience made her think. If we were to meet again I would further explore her "blocked" windows and the lid she left on her box.