Class Experience: Out of the Darkness

Despite my efforts to think less and do more in this class I found myself incapable of not thinking during this activity. With black paper in front of me and with the directive of showing something “out of the darkness” my instinct was first to draw stars or to draw two eyeballs, like in a cartoon when the lights go out. But when I heard the directive it automatically felt more metaphorical. I didn’t want to go with my instinct to paint stars or eyes, I wanted to find something that felt right and that fit into my personal narrative.

I thought about what it would mean to come out of the darkness in my life right now. I decided that for me, coming out of the darkness would mean moving forward without fear of regret or anxieties about the future. It would mean to just go, to stop worrying about where I’m going. It would mean knowing that even if the choices I make along the way are mistaken, the act of making those choices will not be. I’m at a point in my life where I often feel lost and stagnant, not as far along in a career or romantic relationship as I would like or as I imagine I would be. Still so uncertain about so many things. To come out of the darkness would mean to not feel so lost and to just go.

With this in mind I decided on a traffic light. As I drew it I recalled all the times I’ve been in a car during an intense tropical storm or mild hurricane, and the relief at seeing a lit up traffic light directing me safely home. I wanted to create the illusion that the green light was lit up and the red and yellow lights were not. As such, I was frustrated to find the green paint kept seeping into the black paper, making it difficult to create the effect I wanted for the green. However, the paint seeping into the paper did help with the red and yellow lights making them look turned off.

While I was content with my idea I was not so happy with the execution. I wish I would have allowed myself to work a little more freely with the water colors. I also did not space the green, yellow and red lights out appropriately which frustrated me immensely when I realized.